You know sometimes, even when you already did your best, even when you already did everything in your power, things just won't work like you want them to be. When everyone expects the best from you, you know that it will soon turn to be a burden. When your parents believe in you, when your boyfriend believes in you, when your best friends think so highly of you, and you failed them, you know that it hurts more to you than to them, you know that you disappoint them, and you feel the burden becomes heavier and heavier each day.
I don't know though, but you can always go another way, maybe go find a better way. Maybe God has prepared something waaaay better for you. Instead of thinking and dreading about it all the time, maybe you should learn to believe that God has prepared a better way for you and just keep doing your best. Just keep doing your best and enjoy the journey :) Believe that everything's gonna turn out okay.
